Signs You’re at a Bad Amusement Park

Is visiting an amusement park on your summer agenda?  If it is, we hope you won’t recognize anything from this list of The Top Signs You’re at a Bad Amusement Park.

  • The only souvenir your kid leaves with is the measles.

  • All the ice cream cones served are pre-licked.

  • Part of the fun of the giant slide is dodging the rusty nails.

  • Lost children are sent to the Ivory Coast to dig for blood diamonds.

  • The caricaturist offers you five bucks if you’ll pose nude.

  • When they take your photo on the log ride, it’s to help your loved ones identify the body.

  • The guard at the entrance searches your bag.  And your wife’s bra.

  • The only “amusement” going on is the look on the owner’s face after seeing that you just paid $100 to get into his awful amusement park.

  • They have a Hall of VICE Presidents . . . and the Biden robot is interactive.

  • It’s called Six Confederate Flags.