Things that Annoy Lifeguards

Being a lifeguard is a stressful job.  Find out some things that contribute to their anxiety with this list of The Top Things that Annoy Lifeguards.

  • Sharks that refuse to announce their presence with an ominous, two-chord theme.

  • Ugly people also expect to be rescued.

  • Working in the South and having to do mouth-to-meth mouth resuscitation.

  • Realizing your job is to police a giant concrete tub of teenager pee.

  • Having the imprint of a whistle on your chest tan.

  • When nobody respects your My Little Pony floaties.

  • Finding sand in your speedo even though you work at a land locked pool.

  • R. Kelly constantly claiming beachgoers got stung by a jellyfish and peeing all over their leg.

  • Coming home after work and having to sit in a chair that’s at the same level as everyone else.

  • Having a gorgeous babe in a bikini call you for help . . . because her grandpa needs mouth-to-mouth.

  • Not looking as good as David Hasselhoff when you run in slow motion.

  • Not becoming millionaires, despite performing the grueling job of checking out girls in bikinis while occasionally yelling, “No running by the pool!”

  • Two words:  Marco and Polo.

  • Having to figure out how to earn money from September till May.