How to Tell If It’s Really Time to Dump Your Partner

1. YOU THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

Having ~thoughts~ about other people, even in the happiest of relationships, is something everyone experiences. But if you catch yourself imagining a happy life with the person whose bones you’re mentally jumping, or like you’d rather have sex with anyone but your partner, you may already be out of this relationship.

 2. YOU FEEL LIKE THEY’RE BEING WAY TOO CLINGY.

They’re keeping you from seeing your friends or hanging out without them. It could be love bombing—a manipulative tactic commonly used by narcissists—or just straight up excessive clinginess, but either way, it’s never cool for a partner to control your schedule, even if they seem to be doing so “out of love.”

 3. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE ON TOTALLY DIFFERENT PAGES.

If it feels like your partner is super into you and you’re only kinda meh about them or vice versa, then this thing may have been doomed from the start. It’s not the right person if the timing is off, and that’s one of the hardest relationship lessons one has to learn.

 4. YOU FEEL STUCK OR BORED IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

If you and your partner have tried BYOB painting, rock-climbing, and weekend trips, and you still catch yourself disengaging from him or her when you’re together, it might be a sign to move on.

 5. YOU KEEP HOPING YOUR PARTNER WILL CHANGE.

You want your partner to drastically change as a person. Waiting for someone to change his or her internal qualities, like his or her values or personality, takes a tremendous amount of effort, will power, growth, and hard work. You have to ask yourself if you’d be willing to stay with them if they didn’t change this aspect of themselves. If not, it’s time to move on.