Things You Didn’t Know About Mark Zuckerberg

Since Mark Zuckerberg turns 35 today, let’s learn more about Facebook’s CEO with this list of The Top Things You Didn’t Know About Mark Zuckerberg.

  • He protects his privacy thanks to a little-known trick called “Avoiding Facebook.”

  • He’ll be remembered throughout history for making people realize how stupid their brother really is.

  • People often mistake him for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Justin Timberlake.

  • He knows more about you than you do.

  • You can’t block him on Facebook.  Those who’ve tried are no longer with us.

  • He sold your social security number to the Russians for a Red Bull and a fleece hoodie.

  • He started writing software in middle school, around the time you were learning to spell “boobs” on a calculator.

  • The amount of money found under his couch cushions is more than your annual salary.

  • He has colorblindness, so he can’t recognize red, green, or privacy.

  • After good sex, his wife gets a thumbs up sticker.

  • He can speak several languages.  And shockingly, none are Klingon.

  • He has created so many wonderful programs and apps we know and love, like Facebook and . . . uh . . . Facebook.

  • He just bought the air and now you owe him a dollar every time you breathe.

  • Steve Jobs inspired his leadership style.  And his wearing-the-same-outfit-every-day style.

  • His wife has a lifetime achievement award . . . in gold-digging.

  • He’d trade it all to look like Brad Pitt for a day.