Advantages of Being Home-Schooled

With May being Homeschooling Awareness Month, we thought it’d be a good time to check out this list of The Top Advantages of Being Homeschooled.

  • You know where the teachers keep their weed and prescription pills.

  • Thanks to your mom’s drinking problem, every day is a movie day!

  • You actually have a shot at getting extra mashed potatoes from the lunch lady.

  • As long as Dad controls those voices in his head, parent-teacher conferences are a breeze.

  • Learning won’t be disrupted by stupid, unruly kids . . . unless YOU’RE the stupid, unruly kid.

  • If your dog eats your homework, you’ll have proof in your own yard several hours later.

  • It’s nice when the midterm is to find Dad’s missing sock.

  • Your teacher has almost learned your name by the second day.

  • Mom and Dad are never shocked by your report card.

  • Your teacher will never fail you since they don’t want your sorry butt in the house any longer than you already need to be.

  • No wedgies.  For the most part.

  • It’s a little less embarrassing when you have to take your mom to prom.

  • No showering in front of other people after gym class.

  • The library is also the same room where your mom watches “Wendy Williams”.

  • Your parents can use the money they save on private school tuition for a bigger bribe to get you into college.

  • You can be your own bully and take your own lunch money.