Things No One Wants to Hear at Mother’s Day Brunch

 

  • I’d like you to meet your real father

  • You can order anything off the dollar menu

  • Have another drink, Mom-it’s what you’re good at

  • There seems to be a problem with everyone’s credit cards

  • Sorry, ma’am, you’re not allowed to fill your purse at the buffet

  • So, I just took one of those DNA tests…

  • Mom, have you ever thought about making a will?

  • Please tell me I’m adopted

  • These waffles are even more disappointing than my children

  • If today goes well, I’ll consider dropping the restraining order

  • I’m leaving everything to the pool boy