Signs You’re Watching a Bad Spider-Man Movie

  • Four words: Spider-Man vs. Orkin Man

  • There’s an awful lot of Hawkeye

  • It’s shot in 16 millimeter

  • Spider-Man is played by Randy Quaid

  • The arch-villain is a guy who sells reverse home mortgages

  • The producers couldn’t afford to shoot in Manhattan, so now Spider-Man lives just outside of Rochester

  • It even sucks in parallel universes

  • Spider-Man has a deathly fear of heights

  • You find yourself rooting for the Green Goblin

  • You don’t stick around for the end-credits scene — OR the second half of the movie

  • You have to double check to make sure you’re not watching a DC movie

  • You’re just grateful Stan Lee didn’t live to see it