Little Known “Facts” About Allergies.

  • They leave you teary-eyed and sniffy.  Like “The Notebook” after four glasses of red wine.

  • There are some you can actually acquire after being bitten by a bug.  Or is that superpowers?

  • They’re the sixth leading cause of chronic illness in America, just behind Chipotle.

  • Peanut allergies are a good indication of which kids are easiest to get lunch money from.

  • Skin allergies make you look red and swollen and scaly and however else you describe Steve Bannon.

  • Ads for allergy medication are legally required to show someone rock-climbing.

  • Being allergic to cats is toughest on middle-aged single women who work in office cubicles.

  • About 6% of people have latex allergies, so your boyfriend who refuses to use condoms is probably lying.

  • Allergies are the most common health issue affecting children in the U.S. . . . the number two condition is video game controller thumb.

  • The most common allergies are nuts and milk, which is why we should be thankful that peanuts don’t have nipples.

  • The most popular band among allergy sufferers?  Weezer.