Reasons to Take Up Golf

The Masters, professional golf’s most popular and prestigious tournament, starts today, so it seems like a good time for this list of The Top Reasons to Take Up Golf.

  • It’s super relaxing . . . unless you slice one into the woods, get stuck in a sand trap, miss an easy putt, get stuck behind a bunch of old ladies, lose your ball . . .
  • You’re too un-athletic for chess club.
  • It’s the easiest way to meet the president.
  • It lets others know that despite your outward appearance, deep down you’re just another upper middle-aged white man.
  • Unlike being at work, you don’t have to conceal your drinking vodka from a flask.
  • You hate seeing all your ugly pants go to waste.
  • You want to drink beer while playing a sport and you hate bowling.
  • Ball washing” jokes never get old.
  • You have a little room in your schedule between your afternoon nap and Bingo.
  • You really like tiny pencils without erasers.
  • The rest of your family doesn’t play golf.