Tips for Dealing with Stress

April is Stress Awareness Month.  So we want to do our part to help you chill out with this list of The Top Tips for Dealing with Stress.

  • Remember that there’s someone out there whose job it is to clean out the Kardashians’ hot tub.  Believe me, you won’t feel so bad.

  • Get some exercise . . . by beating the crap out of whoever is stressing you out.

  • If your job has you down, apply for a new one.  Just not as Jussie Smollett’s publicist.

  • Write out all your grievances, then throw the letter away.  Or post it on your blog.  Or anywhere else that no one will see it.

  • Avoid triggers like the evening news, after-hours business calls, or the readout on your bathroom scale.

  • Take a nice warm bath.  But be sure to move your meth making equipment out first.

  • Listen to slow, relaxing, soothing music like Enya or Dido.  And then once you’re bored, put on something you like.

  • Tell your mother it’s your life and you’ll date who you want and if she wants to keep having a relationship with you, she should stop treating you like a child.  Or is that too specific?

  • Get a vape pen . . . and use it to stab other people who use vape pens.

  • Maintain a positive attitude, by never going online, watching the news, or talking to anyone, ever.

  • Avoid any family gatherings containing more than one uncle.

  • Take a yoga class . . . and sit behind a really hot person.