Ways Batman Celebrated His 80th Birthday

 

  • Searching utility belt for angina meds

  • Driving around with the Batmobile’s left blinker on

  • Being quietly thankful that he’s no longer played by Ben Affleck

  • Ignoring Bat Signal and laughing his ass off

  • Like every weekend, scraping guano off the Batcave floor

  • Scrolling through Facebook, dutifully “liking”” all the birthday posts

  • Choking down Aunt Harriet’s home-baked birthday cake, God bless her

  • As always, sitting on a gargoyle above Gotham and feeling sorry for himself

  • Having Batsuit refitted to ease strain of osteoporosis

  • Asking the doctor to look at something he caught from Poison Ivy

  • Applebee’s Early Bird Dinner

  • Batcave ‘n Chill!