Great Things About Being an Introvert

In honor of this being National Introverts Week, please enjoy this list of The Top Great Things About Being an Introvert.

  • You can TELL people you’re an introvert, as opposed to having to say, “Please leave, you’re bothering me,” like the rest of us.

  • I’ll give you five stars on Uber since you know to shut the hell up.

  • You never lose arguments . . . because they all take place in your head.

  • You get away with saying public obscenities when you mumble.

  • There’s nobody to buy for at Christmas.

  • Think of all that time you save not tagging friends in Facebook photos.

  • You’ll never feel the shame and humiliation of a librarian’s shushing.

  • You have time to ponder the important questions, like, “Does the Hallmark Channel really pay so well that Lori Loughlin had 500-grand lying around?”

  • You can recognize people by their shoes.

  • Introvert cafes are extremely quiet.

  • Everyone things you’re autistic like Rain Man, and you’re awesome at blackjack.

  • You don’t have to worry about embarrassing old party photos showing up in 20 years when you run for governor of Virginia.

  • In a world full of Penns, you give it a Teller.

  • When people think you’re awkward, you can just walk away from a boring conversation without offending anyone.

  • Introverts tend to think before they speak . . . which means you won’t ever embarrass yourself by getting into politics.

  • In high school you’ll get voted, “Most Likely to Have Mom’s Mummified Body in the Attic.”