Things You Didn’t Know About Daylight Saving Time

Since we started Daylight Saving Time yesterday, it’s a good opportunity for this list of The Top Things You Didn’t Know About Daylight Saving Time.

  • Benjamin Franklin supposedly proposed it as a way to conserve candles.  And also, to have more daylight to look for hookers.

  • It’s the most useless day on the U.S. calendar that doesn’t involve getting weather predictions from a rodent.

  • The concept as we know it was invented in 1905 . . . by Satan.

  • When the clocks go ahead, you’re less likely to be mugged, robbed, or bitten by a vampire.

  • It’s linked to a rise in heart attacks on the first day people return to work.  So you’ll be fine, Corey Feldman.

  • It’s not observed in Arizona because everyone sold their clocks for meth.

  • People who can’t handle the one-hour time change also have trouble changing light bulbs and getting straws into juice boxes.

  • Saving daylight is a lot easier than saving your marriage.