Signs You’ re Desperate for Winter to End

 

  • All you do is watch the Weather Channel and cry

  • You’ve moved to the most southern part of your house and won’t leave

  • Elliot Abrams had to take out a restraining order against you before he retired

  • The last time you left the house was to go Christmas shopping

  • You just traded in your car for a dogsled

  • You drove your car into someone’s yard just to plow into a snowman

  • In a desperate move, you deleted Frozen from your DVR

  • You’re running around with your hair on fire and it’s not a metaphor

  • You bought electric hand warmers and stuffed them down your pants

  • You’re learning to speak Inuit