Signs You’re on a Bad Train Ride

A train with almost 200 people on board is finally moving again after 36 hours stuck on a snowy stretch of track south of Eugene, Oregon.


  • They order you to help shovel coal into the boiler

  • All questions about your arrival time are answered, ”We’ll get there when-and if we get there”

  • They’re converting the dining car into a triage center

  • The conductor just asked if anyone knows how to drive a train

  • Instead of the 2:15, you’re now on the 10:45

  • You’re drawing lots to see who’s going to be eaten first

  • There’s a body in the overhead bin

  • You’ve just been robbed by guys on horses with 6-shooters

  • You’re awakened to the sound of hobos playing harmonicas

  • The on-board movie is Gotti.