Signs You’re Not Going to Be Cast as the New Batman

On Monday, rumors surfaced that actor Armie Hammer was in final negotiations to replace Ben Affleck as a younger Bruce Wayne in Matt Reeves’ Batman solo film. Hammer himself addressed it, claiming he’s not even been approached. So while we don’t know who will play Batman, we know it probably won’t be you. Here are just some of possible reasons for rejection.

  • You actually live in a cave

  • You’re a billionaire, but more like Sheldon Adelson than Bruce Wayne

  • You need your parents’ permission to take the role

  • You’ve been a huge fan, ever since Batman first appeared in 1939

  • You just want the part so women will stop laughing at you

  • To be honest, you look more like the Penguin

  • Your most prominent role to date has been “body double for Kevin James”

  • You never got a response from that VHS audition tape

  • You want to play Batman but identify as Catwoman

  • You own your own codpiece