Things You Don’t Want to Hear from a Kid Selling Girl Scout Cookies

  • I think you might need two boxes, big boy

  • I’m only doing this until I can get a paycheck from my TSA job

  • If you’d like a cocktail with that, we make most of our money on alcohol sales

  • After this transaction is complete, would you mind taking a brief customer survey?

  • Ask me about gluten again and I’ll punch your lights out

  • Can I use your bathroom? I think I got hold of some bad clams

  • Don’t tell anyone but these cookies are made in a sweatshop in Singapore

  • I’m also selling this zesty marinara sauce that my uncle made

  • Have they got preservatives? This box is four years old!