Signs You’re on a Bad First Date

Going on a first date can be a bit of a gamble.  It could be great . . . or it could really suck.  Here are The Top Signs You’re on a Bad First Date.


  • She’s vegan, and all your bondage equipment is genuine leather.

  • He offers to pay for the meal, but only if you’ll be lookout while he knocks off a convenience store.

  • He brags about having been a classmate of Brett Kavanaugh’s at prep school.

  • She insists you run your hands through her hair.  Of her mustache.

  • He took you to see “Holmes & Watson”.

  • He tells you he hates “mansplaining” . . . then proceeds to spend the next 20 minutes slowly clarifying exactly what that means.

  • He brought along his “Twilight” fan fiction.

  • She’s never heard of the Beatles. Or deodorant.

  • The first thing you noticed was the tan line from his wedding ring.

  • It’s less “love at first sight,” more “vomit at first gag.”

  • He says, “Tonight I’m treating you to dinner and an abduction . . . uh, I mean MOVIE!”

  • He shows no interest in helping you solve the maze on the McDonald’s placemat.

  • She pulls out her phone to write a bad Yelp review.  Not of the restaurant you’re at . . . but of YOU!