Things You’ll Never Hear at a Walmart

Are you planning a visit to Walmart soon?  If so, we’re betting you won’t get to experience anything from this list of The Top Things You’ll Never Hear at a Walmart.

  • No, I won’t buy you Cocoa Puffs, they have no nutritional value.

  • I’m so tired of these pants drooping in the back.  I need a belt.

  • A book of Jeff Foxworthy jokes?  Why on earth would anyone want THAT?

  • Which way to the ascot department?

  • Hey, aren’t you in my CrossFit class?

  • If I buy these pajamas, I’m only wearing them at home.

  • I should really start wearing a bra.

  • Boy, these employees sure seem to love this job, this place, these customers, and themselves!

  • I’ll only buy these Crocs if they’re genuine Italian leather.

  • Making sure food is non-GMO is SOOOO important to me.

  • You know, I feel like this bathroom isn’t quite the right configuration to build a proper meth lab.

  • Your children are so well behaved!