Questions to Ask Yourself Before Looking for a New Job

Is landing a new job one of your resolutions for 2019?  If it is, you should first take a minute to check out this list of The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Looking for a New Job.

  • Wait, is there any place else that will hire me?

  • Outside of Facebooking, Snapchatting, and Instagramming, what are my actual skills?

  • Should I mention that I got my GED in prison, or just stop at “GED?”

  • Is my fake resume up to date?

  • Will my new job offer the same benefits as my current one, like health insurance, a retirement plan, and a receptionist with a low-cut blouse?

  • Should my resume include a link to my SoundCloud rap songs?

  • Will it be as easy at my new office to steal highlighters and toilet paper?

  • For the question:  Why did you leave your last job?  Should I avoid answering,

  • “multiple restraining orders?”

  • Will they bother checking if I list George Clooney as a reference?

  • If I’m trying to get hired at a cutting-edge tech startup, should I give them my AOL address, or just my beeper number?

  • Will my new job be better than driving around drunk people or delivering food to drunk people?

  • Is there a chance I could lose my hard-earned title of “Senior Grocery Bagger?”

  • Should I list “discreetly drinking vodka at my desk” under “special skills?”