Overheard at the Golden Globes

 

  • Hi, I’m from the Academy; would anyone here like to host the Oscars?

  • I’m not just a seat filler-I’m the head seat filler

  • I prefer the phallic shape of the Oscar-this looks too much like a doorknob

  • I love awards season! But then, I manufacture red carpets for a living

  • Carol Burnett just won the Carol Burnett Award-I think the fix was in

  • Wow, now I know why Jeff Bridges played such a convincing stoner

  • I think the favorite is The Favourite, but that’s obvious

  • I miss the good old days when you could still make “Golden Globes” jokes about boobs

  • I saw Bohemian Rhapsody three times and I still don’t know what a Scaramouche is

  • Nice of Lady Gaga to dress up

  • Please don’t let Warren Beatty announce any categories

  • I keep getting Mary Poppins and Vice mixed up