Lamest New Year’s Resolutions

  • Stop making resolutions

  • Avoid any type of self-improvement

  • Stop saying demeaning things about idiots and morons

  • Lie to self about New Year’s resolutions success rate

  • Spend more time on cellphone!

  • Start surfing classier porn sites

  • Be more secretive about drinking

  • Deflect, blame, deny

  • Continue driving past the gym but maybe not as fast

  • Try to cut down on the felonies

  • To Get even