Reasons Rednecks Love Christmas

Rednecks love NASCAR, hunting, and fishing . . . but they love this time of year best of all!  Here are The Top Reasons Rednecks Love Christmas.

  • That red nose in the sky makes for fun target practice with a crossbow.
  • Mistletoe + Sister = Hot Make Out Session.
  • You can arrange your collection of taxidermy animals into a quaint manger scene.
  • A jolly fat guy with a beard and beloved catchphrase?  Duh . . . he’s Santa the Cable Guy!
  • Candy canes are easier to slurp when you’re toothless.
  • They get to finally turn those colorful lights decorating their house all year back on.
  • Spittoons make a great base for Christmas trees.
  • Four words:  Eggnog and Boone’s Farm.
  • The Confederate flag looks so beautiful on top of the tree.
  • If the trap they set on their roof works as planned, it’s reindeer stew for weeks!
  • If they’re not having fun at a Christmas party, they can just drive their home to the next one.
  • Christmas is the one day of the year having loud, drunken fights with your relatives doesn’t make you a pariah, so much as a regular American.
  • All that snow turns their entire yard into a Pabst Blue Ribbon cooler!