Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Walt Disney

In honor of Walt Disney, who would have turned 117 years old this week, check out this list of The Top Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Walt Disney.

  • He made talking rats cool WAAAYYY before Michael Cohen.

  • He’s from Missouri so if he wasn’t an entertainment pioneer, he would’ve been a meth pioneer.

  • His decapitated head started the whole “Disney on Ice” thing.

  • He gave us “It’s a Small World” and “Let It Go”, which is why most parents hope he’s currently burning in Hell.

  • When he was designing Disney World, he always dreamt it would one day be populated exclusively by Japanese tourists and obese Midwesterners.

  • His favorite song was “Feed the Birds” from “Mary Poppins”.  His second favorite?  “Back That Azz Up”.

  • The key to keeping those “Mickey Mouse Club” kids happy?  Opium.

  • He became so powerful that employees were too scared to say, “Uh, dude?  The Hitler ‘stache ain’t a good look.”

  • He was more stoned making “Fantasia” than you were when you watched it in college.

  • Donald Duck’s jacket-and-no-pants look was modeled after his preferred mode of dress at home.

  • He took a special joy in sicking his copyright lawyers on insolent brats who had the gall to draw Mickey Mouse on the cover of their math book.

  • He had a secret apartment in Disneyland where he could write.  Or at least that’s what he told Mrs. Disney.