Things Overheard in Santa’s Workshop

  • I hear they’re going to start outsourcing a lot of this.

  • Are we allowed to use magic? Because I’m really behind.

  • When’s Fatty getting back?

  • Sign this union petition and pass it on.

  • I can’t believe how much overtime I’ve racked up.

  • Stop making lawn darts-they’re illegal!

  • You realize that with global warming, we’re going to be underwater soon.

  • Faster! Faster, you pointy-shoed freaks!

  • Have you noticed that all we made in recent years are iPhones?

  • I’d quit, but I don’t know what else elves do.

  • This place is a total firetrap, you know.

  • By next year, we’re going to be working for Jeff Bezos.