Little Known Hanukkah “Facts”

Hanukkah began at sundown on Sunday, December 2nd, and lasts until sundown on Monday, December 10th.  Here are The Top Little Known Hanukkah Facts.

  • You can also call it, “The Festival of Lights”.  But definitely NOT, “Hebrew-Pa-Looza”.

  • A menorah is lit each night of the holiday, as is Seth Rogen.

  • Hanukkah lasts eight days, but the disappointment over your lame gifts lasts the whole year.

  • It’s often confused with the holiday that celebrates ’80s singers called “Chaka Khanukkah”.

  • Adam Sandler wrote a hilarious song about it.  Okay, he wrote a song about it.

  • It’s almost as cool as Christmas.  Okay, it’s not.  But we tell Jewish kids that to make them feel better.

  • In more “woke” Jewish households, the menorah is known as the PERSON-orah.

  • Millions of fried jelly donuts are consumed each year.  Which is one of the only things Hanukkah has in common with the Kentucky State Fair.

  • Traditionally people gave money instead of gifts.  So maybe all this time your grandparents have actually been Jewish.

  • Americans continue to be befuddled by a December holiday that focuses on preserving sacred traditions, rather than punching out fellow shoppers to get their daughter a new iPhone.

  • It’s been scientifically proven that the most effective way to torture prisoners is to make them repeatedly listen to “The Dreidel Song”.

  • The whole thing was invented by Hallmark to sell Hanukkah cards.