Turkey Fun “Facts”

  • Turkeys are native to northern Mexico.  Just like your weed!

  • It’s a very popular food, but a very unpopular vape juice flavor.

  • Turkey became the symbol of Thanksgiving because you can’t make a deer by tracing your hand on construction paper.

  • Wild turkeys can fly . . . and if you drink enough Wild Turkey, you THINK you can fly.

  • That thing hanging down from their necks is the same consistency as your lunch lady’s arms.

  • Eating it can make you tired.  Eating it while watching C-SPAN can be fatal.

  • Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be our country’s official bird, while everyone else in Philadelphia wanted the country’s official bird to be the middle finger.

  • Their feathers are very popular among cultural appropriators.

  • Only male turkeys gobble, especially when they are “mansplaining” to the female ones.

  • PETA recommends “tofurky” as a great alternative for people who want to have the worst Thanksgiving ever.

  • Turkey fossils have been dated back to 5 million years ago, and that’s just the leftovers in the back of your fridge.