Things You Don’t Want to Hear at Thanksgiving Dinner  

 

  • Hey, anybody know anything about that turkey recall?

  • Let’s go around the table and just vent

  • I got some results on that paternity test

  • No, I DON’T want to feel your appendix scar

  • You’re not my real dad!

  • Uh-if I were you guys, I wouldn’t go in that bathroom until at least February

  • Are there nuts, dairy, gluten, or meat in any of these dishes?

  • Can we all just go back to our phones now?

  • Mind if I vape at the table?

  • Does anybody know the Heimlich maneuver?

  • Glad I’m not spending Christmas with you losers