Signs You’re Too Old to Trick or Treat

Your trick or treat bag is knock-off Gucci

You ask homeowners if you can come inside for little while to take a load off

You’re dressed as the “assistant head of accounts payable,” which is your actual job title

You’re not scoring much candy, and your hip is killing you

Several people recognized you as their mailman

You have to hide all your candy from your grandkids

You’re going door-to-door on a motorized Rascal scooter

You yelled, “BOO!” and threw out your back

You just wish somebody would toss a roll of Tums in your bag

While you’re trick or treating, you’re DVR-ing Wheel of Fortune