Working Out Together and Pausing for a Selfie: Thanks so much for taking the time and pausing between blasting your quads and flexing your pecks to snap a photo letting us know how much you love each other and love staying fit. Gosh, you guys must have an AMAZING sex life. We’re all so jelly. Please tell us more.
Jumping: It was funny when Will Ferrell and the Anchorman crew did it before the great newscaster rumble. That was, what? 10 years ago?
Average Date Nights: OMG AWWW did you go to the BEST restaurant in town and drink awesome shooters and soak up each other’s awesomeness? Newsflash: If you’re on a date night that doesn’t happen all that often, stop snapping selfies and food photos and try to enjoy each other’s company.
You’re Matching: Why are you doing this? Unless you’re both members of a professional sports team and you have to wear your matching jerseys because of ADAA requirements, there’s no reason for you to match.
Eyes Closed: You probably/definitely berated and threatened them to take a pic of you #snoozin because you thought your hair looked sexy pushed back
Kissin and PDA: Please keep the photos of you being dipped romantically or holding each other’s butts coming, because nothing says love like slobbering on each other. My dog slobbers on me and he’s a lot cuter. Just saying.