Top Dracula Tweets

It’s a busy time of year for Dracula, but he still makes time for Twitter. Here are The Top Dracula Tweets.

  • What to wear: a popped collar/cape combo? Or a cape/popped collar combo?
  • If you’re wondering how I manage to look so good all the time when I haven’t seen my reflection in 300 years . . . so am I, actually.
  • Nothing more annoying than vampires bragging about how they only bite people on gluten-free diets.
  • I vant to bite your neck. Oops, darn autocorrect.  I meant, I want to bite your neck.
  • I’m a little on edge. Woke up on the wrong side of the coffin.
  • Still with the torches and pitchforks? Haven’t you villagers heard of flashlights and assault rifles?
  • You’d think the Olive Garden guy would see the name “Dracula” on the order and just KNOW to hold the garlic.
  • Stupid Starbucks barista wrote “Vlad the Impaler” on my cup.
  • Glad I can’t see my reflection, ’cause my eyes are still bloodshot from bawling during the last episode of “This is Us”!
  • Damn leaf blower guy woke me up again. #NotAMorningPerson
  • I really hope that Central American caravan gets here . . . they look delicious!
  • My second favorite holiday? “Fangs-giving,” of course!
  • I call B.S. on Bloody Marys!