Signs You Have a Bad Dentist.

It’s Dental Hygiene Month, so we thought it’d be a good time to give you this list of The Top Signs You Have a Bad Dentist.

  • He keeps telling you he’s in a rush because he’s going to his bro’s house for “Skis.”
  • He clasps a bib around your neck and a garter belt around your thigh.
  • He believes fluoride is a mind-altering drug being put in the water to make everyone vote Communist.
  • When he smiles, you recognize him as the guy who ran the Tilt-A-Whirl at the county fair.
  • His only other client is Rudy Giuliani.
  • When he can’t find the lead apron before taking your X-rays, he shrugs and says, “Eh. Having kids is overrated anyway.”
  • The water cooler in the waiting room is filled with Pepsi.
  • He tests out the hydraulics on his new chair by repeatedly raising and lowering it . . . while sitting in your lap.
  • The giant tooth outside of her office is yellow.