Things You *Must* Do in Front of Him before Getting Married

 

1. Cry your ugliest cry. Crying in front of him shows that you’re vulnerable and that you trust him to not take advantage of your openness. If a guy doesn’t know how to handle tears, you’re wise to rethink where your relationship stands.

 2. Scream bloody murder. Sometimes women are a little hesitant to come across as angry, but why? We all get mad. We all reach a breaking point where we lose it and just want to yell.

 3. Shave your legs in front of him. You’re planning on wearing that cute new sundress and you need to shave your legs – stat. But your husband. But your legs. Good god! Grab the razor and shave away. Don’t worry; he knows you weren’t born that way.

 4. Vomit from sickness or too much tequila. This one you probably won’t be able to stop even if you want to. Sometimes when I’m throwing up I really want to be alone in my disgustingness, but sometimes I want someone to hold my hair back just like Mom used to.

 5. Pee with the door open. As long as you’re marrying an adult, I can assure you that they know that you pee. Do you really want to open and close the bathroom door every time you go in there?  Get over your dainty self.

 6. Go number two. Yes, I recommend pooing in front of your future spouse. It doesn’t have to be an event with tickets, but maybe you just leave the door open a little the first time and then a little more the next time. Why? Because, honey, this is just about the least conscious you can be in front of someone. The someone you (hopefully) will live with until you die.