The Top Things You’d be Surprised to Know About Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh

We’re getting to know a little about Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh during his Senate confirmation hearings.  But we’ve learned more.  Here are The Top Things You’d be Surprised to Know About Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

  • His hair can withstand a Category 5 hurricane.
  • Among the documents of his that Republicans don’t want you to see are his fan letters to Tila Tequila.
  • More controversial than Roe v. Wade, he desperately wants to overturn Godzilla v. Megalon.
  • He really only wants to be on the court so he can hit on Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
  • He was a huge fan of “Night Court”, and believes you can reform a prostitute by whimsically pulling a silver dollar out from behind her ear.
  • As a graduate of Yale law school, he’s extremely hard to talk to at a party.
  • He once ruled against the Beastie Boys in their fight for their right to party.
  • In his spare time, he enjoys wearing sweater vests and telling really bad jokes to his daughters and their friends.
  • His diligent work to get Bill Clinton impeached is about to prove EXTREMELY ironic.
  • He went to high school with Neil Gorsuch . . . so, not a very cool high school.
  • He draws the line at arming babies.