The Top Reasons You Were Late to Work Today.

  • You’re late to work EVERY day.  And it’s never a problem because you have compromising pics of your married boss and his hot assistant.

  • Any company dumb enough to hire you deserves to be punished.

  • You drive really slowly when you’re drunk.

  • You forgot today is Taco Tuesday so you had to return home to pick up an extra pair of underwear.

  • You treated your alarm like you do your husband and kids and ignored it.

  • You’re the executive who greenlit “The Happytime Murders”, so you’re pretty sure you’re about to be fired anyway.

  • It’s tough to get out of a bed when your dominatrix handcuffed you to it.

  • Your bed is so comfortable and your boss is such a jerk.

  • The line at Starbucks went all the way to the Starbucks next to it.

  • You’re not a morning person . . . or a work person.