Your Guide to Getting Over That Ex You Just Can’t Shake

1. Rediscover old interests. What did you love doing as a teenager? What passions got pushed aside when you made room for your former mate? Reigniting those interests is a powerful way to move on since it allows you to reestablish your own identity outside of the one that’s caught up in your partner.

 2. Eliminate triggers. Since regular reminders of your ex can deepen your wounds, the solution is to avoid or eliminate them. That means getting rid of furniture, jewelry, or photos that remind you of your former flame (check out NeverLikedItAnyway.com to sell old gifts), as well as changing your routines.

 3. Unfollow. Cutting digital ties is important, too. How important? One study found that folks who Facebook stalk their exes are more distressed, harbor more negative feelings, feel a greater sense of longing, and stunt their personal growth more than those who cut social media ties, too.

 4. Write letters to your ex-but don’t send them. Write a letter or letters to your ex-but don’t stamp it or click send. (Seriously. Don’t.) Write down how you feel, how the breakup is affecting you, and anything else you’d hypothetically like to tell that person. Do it weekly, if you want, so you can record how your emotions are shifting as time goes on. It’s a way of you getting closure and you letting go of a lot of the emotional baggage connected to the past.

 5. Enlist your fan club. Immediately after a breakup, social support is crucial. Reach out to a best friend, parent, therapist or anyone else who can reinforce your positive qualities, remind you why the relationship didn’t work out, and otherwise be a loving sounding board for your woes.