Signs You Had a Lousy Summer

 

  • You spent it binge-watching Geico commercials

  • You believed the lies you were told by the Somali Board of Tourism

  • Your summer job was “Johnny Depp’s bookkeeper””

  • Four words: Baltimore Orioles season tickets

  • Nobody warned you about that Gotti movie

  • Your underwear is full of sand and you didn’t go anywhere near the beach

  • The highlight of your summer was taking the Tide pod challenge

  • You picked up some crabs — and we’re not talking soft shell

  • You spent the entire summer at Disneyland, wiping barf off the Teacup ride

  • Your daughter married Prince Harry and you didn’t even get an invite!