Relaxation Tips

Today is National Relaxation Day. And to help you celebrate it . . . check out this list of The Top Relaxation Tips.

  • Close your eyes and think pleasant thoughts. Like the fact Omarosa will soon be out of our lives forever.
  • Instead of wildly plotting in your head how you’re going to kill someone, get a pen and paper and calmly sketch out a plan.
  • Exercise . . . your right to drink as much alcohol as you want.
  • Do some yoga and try to clear your mind of how you can’t wait to brag on Facebook about how you do yoga.
  • Try gardening. You’ll have to learn it anyway once ICE deports your lawn guy.
  • Find something to laugh at, like a YouTube video, a joke book, or a Sarah Huckabee Sanders press conference.
  • Find a place to spend some time completely alone, like a theater showing “The Spy Who Dumped Me”.
  • Strip naked, sit with your legs crossed, and hum. Even if it doesn’t relax you, the expression of everyone else on the bus is priceless.
  • Spend time with your dog . . . and even more time with Snoop Dogg.
  • Avoid looking at Trump’s Twitter page.

    Spend time with the family. Ideally, someone else’s.