Signs You’re At a Bad Zoo

  • The sign says “Dog Park”

  • You’re pretty sure that’s a dude in a lion costume

  • An orangutan just gave you the finger

  • The paint on the “zebra” is smeared

  • Employees hurry you through, saying “move along, nothing to see here”

  • The apes are throwing their poop, and the staffers are returning fire

  • The whole thing looks suspiciously like the exercise yard at Rockview

  • There’s an area called “heavy petting zoo”

  • That’s not a REAL unicorn!

  • Most of the cages are empty with a handwritten sign reading, “Extinct”

  • Upon entering, you’re handed a blowgun “just in case”