Signs You’re on a Bad Summer Cruise

 

  • Two words: No boat

  • You ask who the featured entertainer is, and they ask if you want to be

  • It’s one way

  • Passengers are asked to help push the ship away from the dock

  • The “captain” is just a golden retriever in a sailor cap

  • Four hours in, and it’s already “every man for himself!”

  • The onboard movie is Gotti

  • The only real “activity” is frantically bailing seawater

  • You ask when dinner is served and they hand you a spear gun

  • One of your ports of call is “Romantic Somalia”

  • The name of the ship is “The Princess E Coli”