Terrible Things About Being Really Rich

With the new “Forbes” world’s richest person list out, it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Terrible Things About Being Really Rich.

  • Having to develop a convincing maniacal laugh for the annual meeting of the Association of Really Rich Guys.
  • Polo ponies that defecate on the helipad.
  • It’s hard to tell the difference between the women who love and care for you as a human being . . . and the fun ones.
  • Missing out on creative challenges like making a house from cardboard or clothes from bread bags.
  • Having to make a large campaign donation to your senator in order for him to keep ICE agents from hauling away the workers picking grapes in your vineyard.
  • At some point, you’ll have to share the first class cabin with a Kardashian.
  • There are times when a member of your house cleaning staff attempts to make eye contact with you.
  • Whenever you see a character like yourself in a movie, he’s always the biggest tool.
  • Sometimes porn stars only bang you for your money instead of your rapturously puffy hair.
  • When the Jag is in the shop and you have to slum it in the Beemer.
  • When you run out of hundred dollar bills and have to use regular toilet paper.
  • You want to shower, but there’s no Cristal.
  • It can be time consuming to match an ascot with a pocket kerchief.
  • Everyone assumes your junk must be tiny.