How to Ask for Her Number (and Actually Get It)

Be Chill. Before you approach her, ask yourself “How would I want to be approached by a stranger?” Relax! Be normal. Ask her if she recommends the wine she’s drinking, instead of hitting on her with aggressive compliments. This will create a natural rapport and make the conversation that much smoother and more pleasant.


Approach Women Who Have Time to Talk to You. Is she furiously texting someone? Is she walking to the bathroom hurriedly? Is she having a profound conversation with somebody at the bar? In all these situations, you shouldn’t approach a stranger. Only approach women who seem relaxed and at their leisure — they’re the ones who’ll actually want to talk to you.


Keep It Low Stakes. Don’t ask for her phone number right away — women aren’t comfortable giving that much information to a stranger. Start small: ask her politely if you can buy her a drink and add, “If not, no worries.” Adding a disclaimer lets her know that you’re not a serial killer (always a good thing!). You might want to give her your phone number, instead of taking hers.


Come to Terms with Getting Rejected. Be sensitive to any signal that she’s not interested. If she says No outright, smile and say, “Well, it was worth a shot. Have a great day!” That way she’ll leave with a positive opinion of the interaction. Making someone’s day is a pretty decent alternative to getting their number.


Respect Her Time. If she’s with her friends on girls’ night, don’t monopolize her entire night. There will be plenty of chances to talk later. Give her your phone number and let her know you’d love to continue the conversation. Respecting their time and space is the only real way to succeed with women. Good luck!