Signs You’re Watching a Bad Dinosaur Movie

  • The dinosaurs seem real, but the human beings seem fake

  • Even Jeff Goldblum refused to be in it

  • It’s a gay coming-of-age story

  • Three words: Starring Shia LaBeouf

  • It’s on a double bill with the Solo movie

  • The T-Rex is purple and keeps singing, “I love you”

  • Chris Pratt is using a pseudonym

  • The final battle is between a T-Rex and Sylvester Stallone

  • Those raptors look suspiciously like pigeons

  • People are fleeing the theater faster than the characters are fleeing the dinosaurs

  • It’s a “dino” adaptation of King Lear