Things You Don’t Want to Hear on Father’s Day

 

  • They say with good behavior, you could be out of here in ten years

  • What are YOU doing home so early?

  • Father’s Day? That’s still a thing?

  • I made you something during craft time in rehab

  • So wouldn’it be great if I moved back into my old bedroom?

  • I’m going to need some money to pay for this brunch

  • Keep drinking-that’s what you’re good at

  • I got you tickets to Solo: A Star Wars Story

  • I’ve been looking into DNA testing

  • I’m starting to recover some very disturbing childhood memories

  • I need some clean urine for my next test