The 30-year-old guy in New York who refused to stop leeching off his parents finally moved out of their house on Friday. Here are four tips if YOUR adult child is overstaying their welcome . . .
1. Set ground rules as early as possible. Be reasonable, but also be upfront about how long you expect them to stay. And talk to them about how they’ll contribute, either by paying rent or helping with chores. Ideally, you should do it before they move back in.
2. Don’t let them be lazy. If they’re not aggressively trying to find a job, don’t let that slide. They might be depressed, but that doesn’t mean they can lie on the couch all day. So be clear about what you expect. Don’t just wait for them to snap out of it.
3. Don’t resort to bribery. If you’ve got enough money to help, that’s great. But make sure they DO something to earn it. Like, once they get a job and sign a lease, THEN you’ll help cover their first month’s rent. In other words, make them work for it, so it’s not just a hand-out. The idea is long-term self-sufficiency.
4. Think about having them see a therapist. They might need someone BESIDES you to help them figure things out. Plus, just adding a requirement like that might motivate them. Because obviously they won’t want you telling them what to do forever.
But with all that said, obviously the idea is to help them. So if they ARE trying their best to get back on their feet, it’s okay to be a little patient with them.