Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Royal Wedding

Here are just a few of the things that will get y booted from Saturday’s Royal Wedding

  • Evidently, being father of the bride

  • Shouting, “I am the true Queen of England!”

  • Pole dancing, no matter how good you are at it

  • Wearing a coat made of Welsh corgi fur

  • Showing up in the same gown as the bride — especially if you’re a guy

  • Swiping hors d’oeuvres and stuffing them in your codpiece

  • Raising a stink about that whole colonialism thing again

  • Starting a conga line

  • Bringing your emotional support donkey

  • Bugging the Queen to dance one lousy friggin’ dance with you

  • Selling meth… heck, even giving it away