Things You Don’t Want To Hear at Mother’s Day Brunch

Kids, you’re getting another new Dad!

Where is Mommy’s flask of medicine?

Damn you kids and your stupid avocado toast

I didn’t get you a gift, but I’ll steal some sugar packets for you

All your ex-husbands promised to drop by

You were an accident, and not a pretty one at that

Mom, if you put in $20, I think we’re square

Let’s talk about politics

Nice cleavage, Mom