Things You Don’t Want To Hear at Mother’s Day Brunch

  • Kids, you’re getting another new Dad!

  • Where is Mommy’s flask of medicine?

  • Damn you kids and your stupid avocado toast

  • I didn’t get you a gift, but I’ll steal some sugar packets for you

  • All your ex-husbands promised to drop by

  • You were an accident, and not a pretty one at that

  • Mom, if you put in $20, I think we’re square

  • Let’s talk about politics

  • Nice cleavage, Mom