Five Fights Every Couple Has and How to Work Past Them

“All You Do Is Stare at Your Phone.” Total banishment of the phone isn’t practical. Instead, set a time period when both of your phones will be turned off that you can hang out and bond. The first one to look at their phone owes the other the sexual favor!

 “You Spend Too Much Money.” Use a “yours, mine, ours” structure for your money. The shared expenses go into a central pool and are spent according to an agreed-upon method. The other two pools of money ” mine and yours” represent some money each person has complete control over.

 “We Aren’t Having Enough Sex.” This is one of the toughest fights of all, because sex is a barometer for so much in our lives. Have an honest talk where each of you expresses, in non-blaming words, why sex matters and what you get from it. If both partners are willing to give it a try, sometimes just “doing it,” even when you’re not feeling hot and heavy, can help shift the mood.

 “You’re Not Doing Enough Around the House.” Sit down together, each of you with your own pen and paper, and rank all of the work you do in a day with a number, as well as the work around the house that needs to get done. If a chore is fun for you, maybe you give it a 1. If something else is miserable, rank it a 10. When you’re done with the exercise, each of you should end up with about the same number for your total chore value. If not, do some shifting around until you both think your workload is fair.

 “You Don’t Appreciate Me.” Say it out loud. Don’t assume your partner knows how much you appreciate them. Men and women often need to hear totally different things to feel valued. Men need to hear that the work they do is appreciated, and that the sacrifices they make are recognized. Women, on the other hand, need to be heard and understood, not to mention cherished.