Since May is Homeschooling Awareness Month, it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Benefits of Homeschooling Your Kid.
- Duh. Why should someone else make money selling him pot?
- He’ll never have to see that horrific, floppy skin hanging from a lunch lady’s arms up close.
- If he says the dog ate his homework, you can grab a stick and poke through Fido’s feces to verify.
- You can teach all the chemtrail conspiracy theories your kid can handle.
- Who hasn’t dreamt of raising a kid who turns into a socially awkward, lonely weirdo?
- “Field trips” can include going out to the backyard to rake the leaves.
- You can justify always talking to yourself as a parent-teacher conference.
- There’s just something fun about being silently judged by every other parent you meet.
- You’ll save tens of dollars each year not buying paper lunch bags.
- Not having to leave home in the morning will prepare him for his future as an unemployed loser.
- Teaching math via “The Price is Right” just makes more sense.
- You won’t have to worry about teachers brainwashing your kid with their agendas, because that’s your job.
- No matter what anyone tells you, kids LOVE spending the entire day cooped up in the house.
- By holding gym class, you can finally get some use out of that exercise bike you bought.
The school mascot can just be the family dog.