Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Kentucky Derby

 

  • Clapping and shouting “Horsie! Horsie!” when you’re 42 years old

  • Playing “Mint Julep Pong”

  • Loudly announcing “You know, most of the world eats horses”

  • Referring to the winning jockey as “little fella”

  • Two words: Horse selfies

  • Hanging a garland of roses around your Johnson

  • Seeing how fast you can run the track under race conditions

  • Faking your horse’s medical report (Donald Trump only)

  • Attempting to mount anyone or anything

  • Any use of the phrase “Lady, you wanna take the hat off?”

  • Quoting Kanye West through a bullhorn